Alpha Papa (and 10 of the best Alan Partridge quotes)
Back in 1994, when Alan Partridge first appeared on our screens as a sports reporter on Armando Ianucci’s spoof news programme The Day Today, few people would have imagined the character would become one of the best-loved comedy creations in television. Almost two decades on, Steve Coogan’s character has starred in his own chat show series, Knowing Me, Knowing You…, as well as two other spin-offs in I’m Alan Partridge and Mid-Morning Matters. Now he’s even starring in a film.
Next week sees the DVD and Blu-ray release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa, the first feature-length outing for Norfolk’s most infamous DJ. His radio station, North Norfolk Digital, is sold to a media company and redundancies are on the cards. Looking out for himself as usual, Alan persuades the powers that be to sack his colleague Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney). However, the repercussions are far more severe than he anticipated and he soon finds himself as Pat’s hostage while the radio station is under siege.
As you would expect, the film is full of classic Partridge one-liners and Alpha Papa is turning out to be one of the most quotable movies of the year.
We went digging through the Partridge back-catalogue for some of Alan’s best moments. In no particular order, here are 10 of our favourites:
"There are some strobe effects, so any epileptics, please get out now. Because statistically, one of you is. And two of you are gay. And please remember guys, if you are gay, rubber up. At your age it's still illegal. You don't want to end up in prison. Some of those guys don't care how old you are. Or if you're gay."
“You feed beef burgers to swans. You make pigs smoke”
"I don't like big feet. Reminds me of gammon."
“Thanks Sonia, that was textbook intercourse.”
“That goalie has football pie all over his shirt.”
"I can read you like a book Lynne and not a very good book. Certainly not Bravo-Two-Zero by Andy McNab, which actually gets better with every read"
“Who’s this beautiful man with a lovely voice? It’s Annie Lennox.”
“Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not, I repeat not, turn into an all-night rave.”
“I’ve just eaten a scotch egg from the garage. Does by breath smell of gas?”
"Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you just think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!'
Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa is out next week on DVD & Blu-Ray. See above for the exclusive hmv edition!