Family Guy: The funniest episodes from each season
We do like a bit of Family Guy here at hmv towers, so with the UK DVD release of Family Guy: Season 12 next week, we bring you our favourite episodes from each of the 12 seasons so far. As if we needed an excuse…
I Never Met the Dead Man (S1)
Peter tries teaching Meg to drive, but ends up crashing his car into the local TV satellite, knocking out cable for the whole town. Suffering from withdrawal, Peter begins watching real life through a cardboard cutout TV he has strapped around his waist. Meanwhile, Stewie steals the wrecked satellite dish to build a weather control device so he can kill all of the world’s broccoli.
Best Line: “Of course, no-one can see this news programme so it doesn’t really matter what we say. I’m the lord Jesus Christ. I think I’ll go get drunk and beat up some midgets.”
Death is a Bitch (S2)
After writing ‘deceased’ on an insurance form to avoid paying a hospital bill, Death shows up to take Peter away to the afterlife. When Peter tries to escape, Death gives chase and sprains an ankle. With Death out of action, Peter discovers that the rules of mortality no longer apply and uses this knowledge to con money out of his drinking buddies by betting them he won’t die as a result of various stunts. Death is not impressed and forces Peter to make up for his indiscretion by killing the entire cast of Dawson’s Creek.
Best Line: “Hey, aren’t you Richard Simmons’ best friend…Richard Simmons?”
Wasted Talent (S3)
Inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Peter wins a tour of the Pawtucket Brewery after consuming massive amounts of beer to find a golden ticket. Lois meanwhile is desperate for one of her piano students to win a talent contest and discovers that Peter is an amazing pianist…but only when he’s drunk.
Best Line: “Everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have their churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery. Now help me drink these beers.”
The Thin White Line / Brian Does Hollywood (S4)
Season 4 kicks off with this two-part episode, the first of which sees Brian using his canine sense of smell to get a job with the police drugs squad. It isn’t long before the job goes to his head and he develops a cocaine habit. In part 2, Brian decides to get away from it all and goes to stay with his cousin in Hollywood to pursue a career as a film director. When he gets his big break, it isn’t exactly on the kind of film he intended.
Best Line: “It’s kind of like Bang The Drum Slowly, only the drum is a chick.”
North by North Quahog (S5)
Peter and Lois try to inject the spark back into their marriage and try for a second honeymoon, but when things don’t go to plan Peter poses as Mel Gibson to gain access to his swanky hotel suite. They discover a private screening room with Gibson’s latest film and decide it is so awful that it must be destroyed.
Best Line: “I’ve put on a few pounds for my next role. I play Peter Griffin, a heroic warrior who defied the English to free England from the English.”
Peter starts his own cable channel after becoming fed up with all the censorship on TV. The FCC shuts him down and, fearing this is not enough, begins to censor real life. Also features one of the best songs from any Family Guy season.
Best Line: “Turn off the windshield wipers, they don’t work, they’re just making it worse.”
Chick Cancer (S7)
Peter is forced to go and watch a ‘chick flick’ at the cinema with Lois, but ends up enjoying it so much he decides to make his own, with pretty disastrous results.
Best Line: “Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis. Now they make me cry through my eyes.”
Blue Harvest (S8)
The first of their series of Star Wars parodies, this episode is named after the film’s original working title and features Peter as Han Solo, Lois as princess Leia and, disturbingly, Herbert as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Best Line: “Um, actually that’s me. I made a Darth Doody. I sithed my pants. My diaper has gone over to the dark side. I got pages of these, I could go on…”
Road to Germany (S9)
Mort Goldman accidentally sends himself back to wartime Germany after mistaking Stewie’s time machine for the toilet, so Stewie and Brian are forced to go back and rescue him.
Best Line: “Well, it’s a dog-eat-dog Reich, and I’m wearing bacon pants.”
Road to The Multiverse (S10)
Stewie invents a device that allows him to travel to parallel universes, so he and Brian go exploring but get stuck in a universe where dogs keep humans as pets.
One of the best episodes ever.
Best Line: “36D Brian. And you know what’s amazing? In this world she’s still one of the ugly ones. If you saw Lois you’d have to put your penis in a wheelchair.”
Back to the Pilot (S11)
More time travelling in this episode, in which Stewie & Brian travel back to the first ever episode, only for Brian to drastically alter the future. Full of self-referential jokes for hardcore fans of the show.
Best Line: “Look at you. You look like a prize at some Mexican church carnival.”
Yug Ylimaf (S12)
Brian starts using Stewie’s time machine as a way of picking up girls in bars, sneaking them into his room while he’s asleep. Everything runs smoothly until Brian causes the machine to explode and time itself starts running backwards. They race to fix the problem before Stewie is unborn.
Best Line: “Y’know, I forgot what a mancave I had in Lois’ uterus. While I was waiting for you I was shooting pool. Had to hold the cue at weird angles, but still…”