What are The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper’s 20 Best Quips?
The seventh season of the hilarious The Big Bang Theory comes to DVD and Blu-Ray next week – so to mark the release we’ve put together the 20 funniest quotes from the show’s oddball uber-geek Sheldon Cooper. Here are Sheldon’s best putdowns, musing and other memorable moments…
“Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.”
(Describing the rules for his proposed replacement for Rock, Paper, Scissors) “Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
“That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.”
“I'm not insane. My mother had me tested!”
A fear of heights is illogical. Fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
(On the CAT scanner he build when he was 12) In fact I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire. It led to an interesting expression in our house: "Not a Snowball's chance in a CAT scanner!"
“My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.”
What exactly does that expression mean, ‘friends with benefits’? Does he provide her with health insurance?
"Oh Gravity, Thou Art a Heartless Bitch"
“Oh. You want me to share credit? Get out!”
“If you use my toothbrush, I’ll jump out that window. Please don’t come to my funeral. Have a good night.”
“Apparently you can't hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.”
“You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.”
“All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy.”
“Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?”
“I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the centre of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.”
"If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect the inside?"
(Trying to diagnose Penny’s computer problems) "What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one!"
“I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.”
“Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.”
“Oh, Mario. How I wish I could control everyone the way I can with you?”
The seventh season of The Big Bang Theory will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray on Monday (September 8th) in hmv stores all over the UK.